Is Santa Up To The Task Of Delivering So Many Presents This Christmas?

Recent important research published in the Journal of Occupational Medical toxicology looks into this important issue… Santa’s Health.

Concerns range from his Body Mass Index, including his ever-growing belly, that put him at serious risk for health problems ranging from diabetes to cardio-vascular disease to arthritis, disc problems, and more!

His occupation puts him at great risk of being involved in an accident. We’re concerned that his general health won’t allow him to heal up well when the inevitable reindeer malfunction causes a crash like he’s experienced virtually every year.

Obviously his size makes it more difficult to get down the chimney with care.

It’s likely this year he won’t even fit down many chimneys as his weight problem continues to grow year after year.

Does he have the stamina to stay up all night delivering gifts?

This is a very important question…

Will Santa ‘gas out’ well before he finishes his deliveries?

He’s skipped his workouts for many years now.

Santa will very likely not be able to keep up with his duties and even trying to do so puts him at risk of suffering a heart attack.

Even if his heart holds up, his body likely won’t be up for the task.

His lack of fitness makes it more likely he will suffer serious injury.

We are particularly worried about his neck, back, and shoulders.

The authors bring up other concerns, ranging from…

• A lack of drug testing. How is he able to stay up all night while in poor general health?
• Is Santa relying on Redbulls? Coffee? Adderall? OR some illegal drugs?
• Mental health problems from his poor health and high stress occupation.
• Is Santa developing paranoia from the ever increasing government surveillance and the intrusion into his privacy with the explosion of social media?

These are only a few of the many concerns about Santa’s Health.

Dr. Hagebusch recommends that Texarkana residents do not leave milk, cookies, or cokes for Santa this year…

Instead consider leaving him a healthier low carb option like an avocado to give him the lasting energy that he needs without the massive blood sugar spike and crash from the cookies!

In an effort to help Santa solve the problem, Dr. Hagebusch has agreed to take care of him when he hits Texarkana this year.

He has offered to have Santa attend his upcoming FREE New Year’s Resolution Secrets Workshop in Texarkana so that Santa can start the New Year off right by focusing on hitting all his health, weight, and fitness goals this year. We also invite you to join him at our Texarkana office!

Assuming Santa makes it through the Holidays this year!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Hagebusch Chiropractic!

 

The occupational health of Santa Claus
Sebastian Straubecorresponding author and Xiangning Fan

J Occup Med Toxicol. 2015; 10: 44.
Published online 2015 Dec 10. doi: 10.1186/s12995-015-0086-1
PMCID: PMC4676089

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4676089/